@Mothpete: The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes, right? I'm not reading too much into it?
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@JustinGuarini: Starlord: Galaxy. Superman: Earth. Spiderman: NYC. And then there's Daredevil micromanaging the shit out of 10 blocks in midtown Manhattan.
@AmberTozer: Good thing "you only live once" has really caught on otherwise we might all kill ourselves like it's no big deal
@DiscoFruit: [dies and goes to hell] me: "mom? dad!? what are you doing here!" dad: "we used to switch your food with the dog's food sometimes."
@yoopnative: I'm broke but not "vacuums the air filter* instead of replacing it" broke. *more than twice.