@adamlucidi: The How I Met Your Mother series will end tonight & everyone is thinking the same thing...if only it were The Big Bang Theory instead.
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@lloydrang: Me: You a good personal trainer? Him: You bet your emotionally distant dad I am. Me: [through tears] Wow, that's personal. You're hired.
@hippieswordfish: *newspaper headline* BIDEN'S EMAIL HACKED -'it was easy' the hackers said 'his password was 'password'
@AtticusFinch79: <gets pulled over> Officer- What's making all that noise in your trunk? Me- My feelings. I'm trying to dispose of them properly.