@TheTalkingPipe: The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she'll call security.
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@click4amanda: Officer: "Do you know why I'm standing here?" Me: "You got all C's in High School?"
@SortaBad: My dad lied a lot. I was 17 before I realized the 'Silver Table Cat' wasn't a real species, and that we didn't own a pet, we owned a toaster
@TheMichaelRock: Tis the season to kidnap a tree, hold it hostage, keep it from its family during the holidays, then leave it for dead.
@aaronup: Psssst. Hey you, Yeah you...Facebook parent. Your kid looks the same as it did 8 minutes ago. When you posted the other 45 pics. We get it