@cornax: The IBS drug commercial that mentions "urgent diarrhea" implies there's also a laid back, non-urgent form of diarrhea that I've never had.
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@Mikecanrant: So carrying a "wet floor" sign and putting it down immediately after using your best pickup line on a woman is frowned upon Dating is hard.
@radtoria: Cute guy: Is this seat taken? Me: (ok, play it cool) No. *smiles* Him: *takes chair away*
@DaddyJew: Apparently shouting out "he has a gun" isn't the best way to let everyone in the bank know that you see the security guard. I know this now.