@1970RobD: The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
@rikpayne: Tweeting and grocery shopping don't mix. I've been down every aisle and just realized all I have in my cart is a cabbage and someone's baby.
@INandONyourMIND: I tell my daughter she has no idea how lucky she is. When I was 12, I had to use a pay phone and walk 10 miles in the snow to get weed
@Fickle_Filly: I'll never reveal my secrets.
@LizHackett: I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she's traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head.
@Uniquicorn: *Joe Biden nibbles Obama's ear*
- Please stop it
*Joe whispers* Say it
- No go away
*angrily whispers* Say it!
- ...please stop Biden my ear