@1970RobD: The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
@LuckoftheDraw86: Don't over-share.
HI I'M A NERVOUS POOPER.
... Nailed it!
@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s over between us
ME: is it because of all my embroidery puns?
HER: I thought you would stop
ME: sew it seamed
@AndyAsAdjective: [my 1st day at press conference sign language translator job I lied on my résumé to get]
ME: *does Madonna's Vogue choreography for 45 min*
@TripleFlip66: [crouches down]
[rubs earth between fingers]
'The pizza went that way ..'
@BlairLoudly: I decided to watch The Conjuring alone in a dark apartment and now I'm not allowed to make my own decisions anymore.