@1970RobD: The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
@KeetPotato: priest: "does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?"
me: "SHE LEAVES THE VOLUME ON ODD NUMBERS"
priest: [slowly closes bible]
@mellimelle: Packing for a trip, Husband says I don't need to overpack. It is so cute how he thinks I'm coming back.
@DirtMcTurd: Just ate the last slice of pizza and I wish there was more. Suddenly all of Taylor Swifts songs make sense to me.
@TwoSapphiresBlu: My kids are teenagers, and I've found the same thing fixes their bad moods as when they were toddlers: a snack and a nap.
@Davesub10S: Star Wars 7 is when they all realize that they are just Andy's toys.