@1970RobD: The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
@theshamingofjay: I change Siri to a man's voice and now it doesn't answer any more questions and turns off for hours
@direlog: i like how at the end of old movies it says ‘the end’ so you arent horrorstruck by the thought of a fictional universe persisting unobserved
@ambamthankyamam: Hey people that twitter says are "similar to me", where do people like us put our car keys?!?!?!
@BYGH: My Diaper Genie grants wishes, as long as you wish for a 40 pound bag of baby shit every week.
@LostCatDog: The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw.