@ahamedweinberg: The irony of being a horse is you could lift weights all day and you will still only have 1 horsepower
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jessokfine: [Me at job interview] And, how seriously does your company take allegations of witchcraft?
@shiksaaa: My boyfriend said he had a Catwoman fantasy. I must have misunderstood because we both wore leather cat suits to bed last night. Awkward.
@Reverend_Scott: Carl: Gonna be a hot one today. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: Male ostriches can roar like lions. Me: Fair enough, Carl.
@HatfieldAnne: For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss.