@ahamedweinberg: The irony of being a horse is you could lift weights all day and you will still only have 1 horsepower
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@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
@westofsunday: Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope
@IamSoffWilliams: We all have that special someone in our lives that we wish would get run over by a truck.
@daveexplosm: Ever since Facebook allowed images in their comments sections people only ever communicate via pictures. We're 21st-century cavemen.