@TravLeBlanc: The Karate Kid would be a shorter movie if Daniel had just bought a gun.
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@WheelTod: Anytime I go to the doctors I feel so ripped off. Whatever my complaint is, it's always the same damn advice: "Lay off the methamphetamine."
@nuttywhippet: There's a job in the paper for a park litter attendant. Experience is not necessary, you just pick it up as you go along.
@sirivan: Everyone makes fun of Aquaman, but he’s got it all figured out. He spends all day chilling in the water. His life is one big pool party.
@KalvinMacleod: [Speech Therapy] Therapist: Repeat after me: I’m thirsty Dad: I’m…thirsty T: I’m hungry D: I’m…H...Hi Hungry, I’m Dad T: *throws clipboard*