@Elizasoul80: The lack of proof that Robert Downey Jr is stalking me just convinces me that he is very good at it.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [Talking to a giant banana] "Is that a human being in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
@wolfpupy: life is a continuous learning experience, so i can spend all my time not paying attention and drawing cartoons on notepaper just like school
@TheToddWilliams: [candy store] ME: I'd like to return this Tic Tac. CLERK: It looks partially eaten. ME: It's still in... CLERK: Don't ME: ...mint condition.