@Elizasoul80: The lack of proof that Robert Downey Jr is stalking me just convinces me that he is very good at it.
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@holyscum: boss: r u flexible this week me: i used 2 be able 2 do a split in 4th grade i mean i could try but idk if there's enough space in ur office
@yoyoha: 8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid.
@brandynwiththey: I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: *puts on ballerina dress* *puts on ballerina shoes* *puts on ballerina tiara* Me: Who are you supposed to be? 4: A ninja.