@Vice_Queen: The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg.
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@DirtMcTurd: when someone pisses you off start counting down from 10. When you get to 8 punch them in the throat, they will never expect it.
@amphy1981: (Showing off new car) Father-in-law: Looks good, what engine has it got? Me: *ultra confident* a grey & black one