@Shanehasabeard: The Lay's Flavor Contest is back!
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@joejwest: [restaurant] WAITER: [brings bill] ME: I got this DATE: Thanks ME: [gets out piggy bank] [hits it w/ hammer] [it is filled w/ bees] ME: RUN
@MichLKosinski: Music teacher comes to our house. Gives our kid a significant, noticeable haircut. Tells no one. Then leaves. !!!
@KrunkedRobot: Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.