@CornOnTheGoblin: The lead singer of Chumbawamba died earlier today. During his autopsy his body got knocked down...and that's when things got interesting.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CatherineLMK: "Remember that man you met for 5 seconds when you were 2 months old? Let me catch you up on his medical history" -my relatives
@Papa_Mex: When a coworker pisses me off, I like to write his name down for 23 boxes of girl scout cookies on the form in the break room
@WilliamAder: Glad I'm not a general, because auto-correct just changed "lunch order" to "launch order."
@pixelatedboat: Me: It’s a hat store, but on the blonkchain *Investor hands me $30 million* Investor: Wait ... did you say “blonkchain”? Me: *runs*