@Willie1derful: The Lion King really created trust issues between me and the nephew.
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@karencreets: Blah blah blah employee handbook, just get to the point where you say if you're gonna drug test me or not
@philefanaddict: The babysitter wanted $25.00 an hour this weekend, so I just bought my kid an iPad instead.
@rockymomax: [date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman