@Willie1derful: The Lion King really created trust issues between me and the nephew.
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@Shock_Monster: The bravest thing you can do is change & the weakest is to settle for comfort. But, seriously, that remote is really far from the couch.
@iwearaonesie: If your wife walks in and turns the light on while you're staring at the ceiling, make sure you yell "My eyes!" BEFORE she starts changing
@MomOfTeen: For Mother's Day, I told my teens, I'm going to reenact every detail of each of your births.
@SamuelHLowe: -Why didn't you answer your home phone? -Because I'm walking the dog. Don't you trust me? -Of course I trust you! Put the dog on the phone.