@Scorpio1080: The lottery gives you about a 1 in 200 million chance you won't be going to work tomorrow. Alcohol will give you a 1 in 5. #PowerballFever
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@prawn_meat: a deranged scientist in every rickety old house on top of every hill on the outskirts of every town. that's my promise, should i be elected
@ewfeez: Hey girl, are you an obelisk, because I'm trying to learn what an obelisk is through process of elimination
@ibid78: Pouring water on someone's head to promote something is kinda weird. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's go baptize some babies.
@bingowings14: 18yo is deliberately putting the cutlery in the wrong places in the drawer when he puts them away. So I’ve put some of his game discs in the wrong boxes. Let’s see who’s head explodes first.