@ddsmidt: The love I feel for my family is always constant. My tolerance is another matter.
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@mrjohntofu: What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won't buy the book.
@ayyyyloser: Someone just called for cleanup in the dairy aisle but I'm the only one here so I dropped the jug of milk I was holding and ran
@GuyThe_Guy: My wife puts her pants on just like everyone else, but when she gets one leg in I push her over while she's off balance.