@philyuck: The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car
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@Kyle_Lippert: *brings a laser pointer to the Broadway showing of Cats and creates utter mayhem*
@msbtx: Coworker: I like working with you. I feel like I can really talk to you Me: I'm sorry I gave you that impression. That's not correct
@KeetPotato: cop: "can you point at which zebra it was" zebra: "ha good luck we all look the same" me: [points at zebra wearing my sunglasses] "that one"
@_davidlucas_: The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently.