@jonnysun: the most efective way to clean ur room, start a creative project, run errands, cook, brush ur teeth and take a shower is to study for a exam
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@scott_towel: My childhood left me with unreal expectations about how often I would see pies used as weapons.
@Flattliner: I'm introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
@ComedicBust: My boss took me out to dinner to celebrate my promotion, but after he watched me eat ribs for 20 minutes, I was given a severance package.