@jonnysun: the most efective way to clean ur room, start a creative project, run errands, cook, brush ur teeth and take a shower is to study for a exam
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@funnyordie: The Walking Dead or the Grammys. Do you watch the bloodthirsty monsters ready to eat each other to survive or do you go with Walking Dead?
@tuckerflodman: [CIA] -We need you to kill the leader of Russia. "I'll be Putin a bullet in his head. Carl Marx my words!" -Alright! Who invited PunMan?!
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: You should cut the grass. Me: Yes, dear. W: And, you really need to trim that bush. M: *mumbles* Yeah, you too. W: What? M: Yes, dear.
@TheTweetOfGod: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Santa." "Santa who?" "Santa who has to use the door because you left your fireplace burning, jackass."