@DannyZuker: The most romantic restaurant in the world is not as dimly lit as the operating room on a TV medical drama.
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@krisv_723: Me: Siri, how hot does fire need to be to burn a body. Siri: Kris, we go over this once a week. Make a note.
@SteveSuckington: "Here kid. I hope you like not getting laid until college because your bedroom is a giant dinosaur now." -extreme home makeover
@BuckyIsotope: Kanye West builds a time machine so he can interrupt himself interrupting Taylor Swift.