@DannyZuker: The most romantic restaurant in the world is not as dimly lit as the operating room on a TV medical drama.
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@MissNaughty1801: The worst thing about finding out Santa isn't real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
@DanMentos: "There's Dave" Regular Dave or Dave who thinks he's a hotdog and "f" is a vowel? [cut to Dave writing in a book titled "Diary of an frank"]
@MondayPajamas: Her: I think my IUD came loose and is floating around in there Me: C'mere, I drop my guitar pick in the sound hole all the time, no problem
@Daniel_Sloss: If anyone says YOLO to me I say YOLBYPCFAC (You Only Live Because Your Parents Couldn't Find A Condom). I hope it catches on...