@TheNardvark: The movie Scarface taught us that abusing cocaine can lead to making bad decisions--for example: the script, the soundtrack, and the acting.
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@WilliamAder: My wife is visiting her mother this weekend, so the cat and I are smoking cigars and playing poker.
@robdelaney: Girl, are your legs tired? Cuz you were running through my dreams all night and you did some amazing parkour & also kicked a judge to death.
@SatansTongue: *Filling out application* Sex: "no thanks" Well maybe I should write yes... I really need this job. You know what? Yeah sure I'll take sex.