@darinlovesbacon: The Never Ending Story should've been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
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@horsedetective: Horse detective stood in the rain and looked out to sea. He thought about justice and fate. He thought about her. He thought about apples.
@backupbear: For anyone interested, you'll find my complete Windows 8.1 review below: Still sucks.
@JediGigi: [on 1st date] Him: So why is someone as pretty as you single? Me: Single? Who's single? [gets right up in his face] We marry at dawn.