@briangaar: The new Batman is super realistic -- he's attracted to porch lights, makes your girlfriend scream and then the cat eats him
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that if she has any problems she can talk to me like she talks to her girlfriends so we're discussing why I'm such a idiot.
@dfaber84: I wonder how Jeff Bezos became the richest guy in the world. - Me as I take 47 Amazon boxes out of the house
@elle91: They said the kids that bullied me in school would be pumping my gas one day but 1 just got a modeling contract who do I talk to about this