@briangaar: The new Batman is super realistic -- he's attracted to porch lights, makes your girlfriend scream and then the cat eats him
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@Douchekevin: The girl I have a date with tonight texted and said 'I have no gag reflex ;) ' So I guess that means I'm taking her to a Nicolas Cage movie
@Sarcasticsapien: If you're going to insult the Amish, do it to their face. You kinda have to. They're never gonna see it online.
@thefurlinator: if you're havin girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems and they're all bottles of beer on the wall
@AaronMichael_: Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.