@dysondoc: The new jumper I bought kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge.
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@2tickytacky: In your selfie, you had rabbit ears and little whiskers. You don't really have any of those things! Catfish! Just like rainbow tongue girl.
@ChrisScarlette: [being robbed] Me: careful.. I'm ARMED *whips out bible Robber: lol *pulls gun out of bible R: oh *pulls smaller bible out of gun
@NotthatAdamWest: The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won't go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game; I'll play mine.
@TheAuthorGuy: Much as I like Guardians of the Galaxy, in real life, I don't think it's a good idea to give a gun to a raccoon.