@TheTweetOfGod: "The new Star Wars comes out in two years". (Luke 20:15).
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@thongbeard: Selfies are just sad reminders that you have no friends willing to take pictures of your face and cleavage.
@jonnysun: dumbledore: our enchanted ceiling shows us wat the sky outside looks like mcgonagall: so…a magic glass ceiling dumbledore: [starts sweating]
@Vodkantots: I never said that I hated you! All I said is that I hope you have your period when the next Sharknado comes around.