@TheTweetOfGod: "The new Star Wars comes out in two years". (Luke 20:15).
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@Breadery: Her: What do you like about me? Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What? Me: Your eyes
@brennadine: Hang on guys. My boyfriend told me not to be anxious, so I expect to feel better any moment.
@weinerdog4life: A good way to know if your girlfriend is a lizard is if she eats a bunch of crickets or small birds
@AnitaHelmet: My husband hasn't forgiven me for answering 'Okie dokie artichokie' instead of utilizing the more socially acceptable phrase, "I do."