@MenCodes: The New Yorker has 0 chill
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@discountzen: I went to walmart today. I got the cart with three wheels and a hoof. This always happens to me.
@MamaFizzles: I kept my whole house clean for three days. But then I felt like my kids had been locked in that closet long enough.
@joeljeffrey: You know you're old when you start telling people how much cheaper things used to be.
@rickygervais: Suggested Thanksgiving Conversation starters: "Which God are we thanking again?" You're welcome :)