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@MenCodes: The New Yorker has 0 chill
@Vodkantots: Well well well. If it isn't old Saint Nick trying to slide down this chimney after ignoring my texts for a year.
@themorris23: Donald Trump always looks like he's just opened a really hot oven.
@Sassafrantz: DM: I'm 10 inches. Wanna chat?
Me: omg guys, a fetus just messaged me!!
@1Bad_Scientist: *at Thanksgiving dinner*
Me: One of you is eating poison green bean casserole.
Me: Just kidding you all are.
@ehdannyboy: Before pulled pork, pork just used to stand on the edge of the dance-floor, nodding to the music and looking cool.