@Fickle_Filly: The next man who calls me deluded is going to regret it when he finds me sitting in his house wearing a wedding dress.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: I think my nephew finally figured out that there's no chameleon in this cage & that his Xmas present is a cage.
@DiscoFruit: [dies and goes to hell] me: "mom? dad!? what are you doing here!" dad: "we used to switch your food with the dog's food sometimes."
@Book_Krazy: Boss: You're late! On Friday, I made it clear that anyone arriving late would be fired Me: Well I didn't know! I ducked out early on Friday