@AristotlesNZ: The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass.
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@iGreenMonk: Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight.
@ehchino: [Couples counseling] "It's not good to keep these things bottles up, you know" Okay, fine *opens jar of wasps*
@Tmoney68: Ladies, if he tells you he's 6 feet & 4 inches, be sure those aren't two separate measurements.
@heroinsdemise: I always wonder how Men managed to find entire continents. Mine can't even find the butter in the fridge.