@AristotlesNZ: The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass.
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@Ygrene: [being murdered] Me: did you get that knife out of the dishwasher Murderer: …yes Me: and you didnt empty it Murderer: [murder roles reverse]
@mdob11: Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don't come to work :(
@Rollmaninoz: Coworker: you play any sports Me: yeah but I've had to take a break from it CW: oh..Injury? Me: *thinks about broken controller* yeah..kinda