@Mr57percent: The older I get, the more I feel like the town elders in Footloose were actually pretty cool.
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@iinkedZombie: My son asked me what it's like to be a parent so I woke him up at 3 a.m. to let him know that I couldn't sleep.
@WheelTod: If you're dying, and have recently lost your car keys, take the opportunity, as your life flashes before your eyes, to try to spot them!
@BGH70: The company hates when I helicopter into work. It's always, "zip up your pants and go see HR now!"
@ch000ch: it's cool when my one dog shits the other one has to go and inspect it like "just as i suspected guys. it's shit."