@TheSweetestD_: The only difference between a psychiatrist and a drug dealer is that the drug dealer doesn't make you wait an hour.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 1-year-old refused to wear her shoes and carried them around instead. She can barely walk and she's already the drunk girl at the party.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Martin Shkreli has been arrested. Bail will be set, then quickly raised to an amount he can't possible afford.
@Chumpstring: [ER] ME: [scared] well? DOCTOR: ur ok M: so it was just a dream D: o no ur body is filled with lizards but ur system is accepting them
@3sunzzz: If a bear attacks me, I'm staying put. The only thing worse than getting attacked by a bear, is getting attacked by a bear while running.