@pertyy_: If you don't want to play with me I'll just play with myself!
- Overheard in 2nd grade today... Me too kid, me too.
@Reverend_Scott: [first date]
"So, I heard you work at the circus."
[shallows bread stick whole] Nope.
"You sure about that?"
[chewing on glass] Yup
@AtticusFinch79: 🎶I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair🎶
*tiny little man falls out of my hair with a gentle thud*
Him: Is that a new shampoo?
@Dr_powpow: I could be wearing a onesie right now, you don't know.
@SpenceDen: Me as a kid: I'm bored.
What my parents heard: "I would like some manual labor please."
COMMENTS