@DaddyJew: The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff
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@DarlingNikki_12: Never go to target in a red shirt. I was holding my kid and someone asked for help. Like yea just let me finish stocking the toddlers first.
@Parentpains: It's actually pretty easy to win an argument with a woman when you wait until she's not around to have it.
@AimeeHelene1: Me: Yes, I'd like the Mexican massage. Masseuse: The what? Me: *hands him taco seasoning and sour cream* Masseuse: Me: Let's go, chop chop.
@newschannelnine: Also, kids? Don't DM us pretending you are some school official cancelling school. Closings don't work like that. & we're not that dumb.