@Momfia: The only reason an IKEA kitchen will last you 25 years is because it takes 23 years to put it together
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@LePetitOiseau_L: It's like my cat doesn't even appreciate it when I take the time to rake his litter box like a Zen Garden.
@ilovepie84: "Jesus take the wheel" -an Asian man telling the police that a Mexican guy stole his rims off his Honda Civic.
@JermHimselfish: Def Leppard are a bunch of liars. I poured some sugar on a girl one time and it was a complete mess, she was not happy at all.
@Ivsy01: Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know.