@TheDairylandDon: The only spanish I know is from the song Feliz Navidad, so these last few days have been my time to shine.
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@_davidlucas_: *Answers door naked* Jehovah's Witnesses... 😲 Me: Do you have a moment to let me tell you about my sex life? Here, have this pamphlet.
@ticknada: Anyone that says I'm a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
@unravelingfire: I feel like I have something to prove here. Judge: That's sort of how this works.
@kumailn: "You calling them Nazis is what turned them into Nazis." I've been calling my cat a "gorgeous little muffin" for years so now I'm terrified.