@VirgoSherry: The only thing I want written on my tombstone is "I'm standing right behind you."
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@brianbowman73: Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses. Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous... Interviewer: Strengths? Me: Vocabulary?
@LuvPug: I could probably survive about a week in the wilderness eating only the food I spill on my shirt any given day.
@lawbsterfest: Kevin, children are allowed to order pizzas. You don't have to make the delivery guy think he's being shot at by gangsters. For christ sake.
@JiminyKicksIt: It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.