@TheFearBoners: The only thing more boring than Lance Armstrong's interview is the Tour de France.
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@SamGrittner: This Uber driver is the worst. I can't roll down the windows, he keeps asking questions, the doors won't open, and now his siren is blaring.
@mynameisntdave: RACIST: im a racist! ME: uh oh RACIST: yea I race cars! ME: oh. I dont think u know what racist means RACIST: & I hate Jews! ME: there it is
@ElKnuckelhombre: Me: Ohhh, MARITAL arts workshop...now I really feel stupid in this karate outfit. Wife to therapist: Do you see what I'm dealing with here?
@PULPKetchup: First they came for the Fight Club members, but I said nothing, because...you know...rules.