@TheFearBoners: The only thing more boring than Lance Armstrong's interview is the Tour de France.
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@RealChrisChirdo: "I won't vaccinate my kids! It's not healthy and full of dangerous preservatives!!!" *gives kid a pop tart for breakfast*
@AnOrangeSNES: [Standing still for a picture] I guess you can say I'm *turns around for a second and the camera goes off* not good at posing for pictures.
@sixthformpoet: It’s so awkward when a bird arrives back at its nest and the worms in its mouth realise that wasn’t just a free aerial tour of the city.