@TheFearBoners: The only thing more boring than Lance Armstrong's interview is the Tour de France.
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@dreamthievin: I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie
@DamonHunzeker: Horses kill more people than sharks, which is weird -- I didn't even know horses could live underwater.
@Demented_Jokes: My son cried when I gave him his breakfast this morning. I made him scrambled eggs, covered them in ketchup & told him it was Humpty Dumpty.
@GordoHelio: Job interview... H- "So how would you describe yourself?" Me- "Verbally but just incase I prepared a dance"..