@mattgallo123: The only thing more shocking than finding water on planet Mars would be finding me in Planet Fitness.
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@tarashoe: ah, mercury's going retrograde, that explains why i accidentally squandered my entire youth
@sixthformpoet: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
@AthenaMystique: I hope buying all this cat food doesn't make me look like a crazy cat lady. I just like the taste.
@weinerdog4life: If you see a cat with a dart in it, that's my cat and I need him back, we aren't done yet.