@mattgallo123: The only thing more shocking than finding water on planet Mars would be finding me in Planet Fitness.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@huntigula: [1st date] Her: so u play piano? Him: yep Her: is it hard? Him: that's pretty forward but yeah, as a rock Her: I meant playing piano Him: oh
@on_the_fritz_17: "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes" is beautiful to hear in a children's classroom - but not at the site of a plane crash.
@varoon_singh: When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
@shopkins776: I took two years of anger management courses Now I'm the manager of four brand new anger stores