@michaelianblack: The only thing that would prevent my wife from going to Pilates class would be if they invented a more expensive form of exercise.
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@GiantsofDiving: Does everyone get take 'by mouth' printed on their pills or did the pharmacist look me over and think hmm...this guy might go the other way?
@RandiLawson: CBS Fall Line-Up: Big Bang Theory Young Sheldon Old Sheldon Ghost Sheldon CSI Sheldon Last Sheldon Standing America's Got Sheldons
@ThisOneSayz: Me: they're coming! 911: can you hide? Me: they'll find me!! 911: stay calm Me: the door is opening...help! "Mooom! We want a snack!!"
@DaveWeasel: The words 'selfie' and 'twerk' have been added to the dictionary this year while 'charm' and 'dignity' have been removed.