@CulturedRuffian: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...& murderous clowns, & ISIS, & one of these two getting elected President after Halloween.
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@ComedicBust: We kissed. We undressed. I felt her heart beat. I used her bathroom. I saw Colgate toothpaste. I left. We never spoke again.
@warmyellowlight: me: *buys condoms, tampons, lice shampoo, adult diapers, yeast infection cream, an enema and a pregnancy test* cashier: would u like a bag