@CulturedRuffian: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...& murderous clowns, & ISIS, & one of these two getting elected President after Halloween.
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@Shock_Monster: Nurse: It's just a little prick.. Me: That's what my gf said! N: Ha M: Haha N: HAHA M: HAHAHA! N: You don't have a gf, do you? M: No.
@NoTheOtherJohn: [gives date the "just one sec" sign as I answer my phone] Hello? Oh hi The Pope [I do the hand talking thing to suggest how chatty he is]
@RandiLawson: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi