@TheFemKilljoy: The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@vexroid: Found $0.83 under my pillow. It appears that I still have all of my teeth so now I'm a little worried about what I was paid for.
@OrangeFact: [First Date] HER: I love dogs. ME: [Trying to impress her] Waiter, give us your finest Labrador - medium rare.
@_NTFG_: I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn't in a band anymore and starts yawning by 9pm and just wants to be home drinking tea.