@TheBeerGuy73: The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.
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@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: So do you have any hobbies? SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor HER: What?! HIM: Just ventriloquism
@knot_eye: I was so happy my mail order bride arrived today. My Wife wasn't. She did say I can use the crate as a doghouse. Odd, we don't own a dog.
@Reverend_Scott: "I'm soooo tired!" [lays down in bed] "I'm soooo comfortable!" Bladder: Sup bro