@TheBeerGuy73: The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.
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@EndhooS: "If anyone has any objections, speak now or- SHES LITERALLY A BANANA Groom: IS THIS TRUE EMMA? Best man: I f'kin KNEW she bruised too easily
@JRehling: God talked to Jews like 500 times in the Old Testament, and not one warning about the Nazis.
@mejustbeth: Thought I was having a good hair day. Mother Nature likes to keep my ego in check though. She's really good at that.