@TheBeerGuy73: The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.
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@JervanF: I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..
@ZanyJaney11: Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
@KalvinMacleod: [driving test] INSTRUCTOR: Any initial concerns? ME: Volcanoes I: About the test? M: No I: Ok then let's go M: *drives into active volcano*
@jaimekessel: Instead of a flower girl, I want a parmesan boy to sprinkle cheese down the aisle at my wedding