@AbbyHasIssues: The only way an adult coloring book could help calm my stress is if it was somehow edible.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kumailn: The director of "A Girl in the River" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars
@Bagyants: Her: How do you get girls? Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works? Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying.
@MandiAtRandom: Something good is coming my way I can feel it. Nothing life changing, probably just a hotdog God please let it be a hotdog
@StoferComic: An argument with my wife is like the gas pedal on a Prius. I can put my foot down, but I don't really expect much to happen...