@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.
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@TheresNoGodzila: *gets on 1 knee* Me: I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but will you marry me? Her: Please get off my knee
@Donna_McCoy: You think a person loves you and then they up and bring a grocery store cake to your birthday party.
@bridger_w: Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me