@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.
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@ohpeetie: Boyfriend is talking about taking me on a camping trip. Like, a real one where we'll sleep in a tent and pee outside. Is he mad at me?
@Pork_Chop_Hair: When I cut my nails in the yard outside, I wonder if the ants really appreciate the giant tusk weapons I'm giving them for their battles...
@JermHimselfish: Whipped cream is just shaving cream that does whatever it's girlfriend tells it to do.