@pinupteacher: The "Ooooo" the audience makes during a sitcom kiss but for me when I finally take a shower.
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@maisonwithapen: *stands near cute dude in store* ME [pretending to be on my phone]: PLEASE doctor, when will I be cured of my no gag reflex problem *winks*
@brianbowman73: I was once put in the 'friend zone," but with perseverance that all changed. I'm now in the 'must stay 200 yards away at all times zone.'
@mellimelle: It's the year 2057, humans are shaped like candy canes from years of looking down at their phones. Striped-clothing is always in fashion.