@pinupteacher: The "Ooooo" the audience makes during a sitcom kiss but for me when I finally take a shower.
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@awkwardphilippe: Age 10: One day I will get married and have 10 kids Age 20: I hope I find someone neat Age 30: *hissing sound*
@bornmiserable: ME: Whoa, these people are hardcore Goths CORONER: How many times do I have to tell you that they're corpses, you're looking at corpses
@knot_eye: [ouija board] How are you feeling? *board begins spelling* O-O-E-Y--G-O-O-E-Y What the!? A cheesy board!? G-O-U-D-A--G-U-E-S-S