@lemmywinkler: The "oops, wrong hole" excuse doesn't work when she catches you with her best friend.
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@HousewifeOfHell: Rumor has it, some people get things accomplished without whining about it. Not my style. Interesting concept, though.
@WGladstone: When God closes a door, he opens a window. So God's pretty clearly getting high in his dorm room.
@lasergirl70: Wearing a pretty new bra today that nobody else is gonna see, so everytime I go to the bathroom, I flash myself in the mirror.