@josePhDhoran: The opposite of Iceland is water water
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@KevinFarzad: Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed
@thatUPSdude: I love when you're choking someone and they are all "I can't breathe", duh I'm choking you.
@Brentweets: I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him