@josePhDhoran: The opposite of Iceland is water water
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@Brianhopecomedy: Brought my 5 year old to the tax office to ensure that the accountant works as quickly as possible.
@huntigula: I take karate classes solely to fight off hobos who mistake my man bun for a delicious cinnamon roll
@djdarrellripley: Me: Don't tell me you've never thought about having sex with me. Her: No, I never have.... Me: I asked you not to tell me that.