@Sassafrantz: The Orthodontist wants to pull my daughter's 2 loose baby teeth & charge me $250. I bought the biggest bag of caramels I could find for $5.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Bizarro_Mark: My parents haven't called with a computer problem in 48 hours. I'm sending my brother over there to check on them.
@degg: just mowed the backyard [idiot mocking voice] "but deg what will u do this weekend?" hell, the way it grows i'll be able to mow sunday idiot
@ClickBaite: Watches my wife cut the 2 yr. olds apple juice with water ... *Hauntingly second guesses every drink she's ever mixed for me now