@crabgirl_: The people in this spin class are looking at me like they've never seen a girl with a helmet before.
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@weinerdog4life: Note to self: Take Mila Kunis picture off of vacuum before taking it in for service next time.
@Elizasoul80: [my husband turning onto our street] "know what I think?" husband: you don't have to say it everytime. "we've been down this road before"
@heymonroe: Hope I'm never tortured, because I just pulled a hangnail off my finger and now this entire restaurant knows my pin number.