@OutOfLeftField_: The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped naked and ran around the precinct shouting, "Save the whales!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Lowenaffchen: I used to worry about offending people's moms on facebook but now they all post memes like "I chug vodka to keep from drowning my children"
@LePetitOiseau_L: I just yelled "ACKNOWLEDGE MEEE!" at the automatic sensor in the sink faucet if anyone is wondering how stable I am today.
@NightValeRadio: Talk to the hand. The hand is lonely and needs some company. What are you up to? How's work? You look great. You want some tea?