@JohnLyonTweets: The premise of The Exorcist is truly terrifying. Imagine having a 12-year-old daughter.
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@SaddestTiger: sometimes i call watermelons summer pumpkins and nobody ever knows what im talking about.
@QwertyJones3: What kind of underwear do women wear in Japan? JAPANties! WIFE: See what I mean? JUDGE: Yes, I'm going to grant this divorce
@MRagaab: What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate.