@TheTweetOfGod: The problem of guns in schools would be eliminated if society finally had the courage to outlaw schools.
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@TravLeBlanc: What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend? When she says she thinks of you like a brother.
@DadandBuried: I'm so sick of everyone asking if I *really* hate my kids. They're just jokes, people. Annoying, inconvenient jokes who are ruining my life.
@RandomManik: My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.
@MarfSalvador: Cop: I can only hold you for another hour Criminal: Then you're just gonna let me go?! Cop: You know I gotta work, babe