@iscoff: The reason Latin is a dead language is because they kept accidentally summoning demons during regular conversations
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@QuiteQuietOne: Thanks to yesterday's chili, I can definitively tell you that there are 242 tiles in this bathroom stall.
@cambuslad: Someone with OCD visited my TL whilst I was napping and now all my tweets seem to be facing the same way.
@hippieswordfish: ME: any advice DAD: its ok to embellish a little [later at job interview] INTERVIEWER: tell me about yourself M: i wrote harry potter