@iscoff: The reason Latin is a dead language is because they kept accidentally summoning demons during regular conversations
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@Staggfilms: [first date] Her: You made a giant Pentagram out of fries and ketchup? Me: Just get naked and step into the circle. Don't make this weird.
@TheOfficialTed: Guys wait for the perfect girl, Playboy's fault. Girls wait for the perfect guy, Disney's fault.
@bazecraze: A National Treasure where Nicholas Cage has to find the model number on a 15 year old dishwasher.