@TomSchally: The remote does not go next to the TV. That’s the opposite of why you have a remote.
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@tigersgoroooar: if you're in a sports bar but don't understand sports just keep repeating the phrase "damn they gotta get him the ball." everyone will agree
@3sunzzz: What did watching Cinderella teach us? 7yo: It taught us that if she had been wearing sensible shoes, she would still be scrubbing floors.
@heidi420x: Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.