@TomSchally: The remote does not go next to the TV. That’s the opposite of why you have a remote.
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@Mikecanrant: When I take pictures of cheese I yell "SAY HUMANS!" and me and the cheese laugh and laugh and then I binge eat and cry.
@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes it's nice to feel another body pressed up against your own, even if rigor mortis has already set it.
@PaperWash: [Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' "That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired" [later googling Sextuple] "Omg that's genius"