@markhoppus: The salon where my wife is getting her hair cut has a copy of Playboy on the magazine table. I feel like this is test.
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@wickedsuga: Everyone needs that one friend that will promise to redraw your chalk outline to make you look skinnier.
@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I want my decaying carcass to be loaded into a giant slingshot and flung into a rich kids bouncy castle.
@primawesome: All I want for Christmas is a survivalist training course so I can finally move to the woods, go off the grid, and not participate in society anymore until the government hunts me down and begs me to help them with a matter of national security, which I refuse.